Building Confidence Through Targeted Coaching

Note: Prior written permission was obtained from each client on which each coaching story is based. Names and some details have been altered to preserve anonymity.

Background

Alex, a 32-year-old accountant, sought help for his long-standing issues with low self-esteem and confidence, which affected his personal and professional life. Despite his competence and achievements, Alex struggled with self-doubt, was overly critical of himself, and avoided opportunities for advancement due to fear of failure.

Initial Assessment

During the initial meetings, it became clear that Alex’s low self-esteem was rooted in perfectionist tendencies and a harsh internal critic. These factors led to a fear of taking risks and a belief that he was never “good enough,” contributing to his reluctance to pursue new opportunities or express his opinions in meetings.

Intervention

  1. Identifying Negative Beliefs: Alex was guided to identify and challenge his negative self-beliefs. By keeping a journal, he became more aware of when and why these thoughts occurred, learning to counter them with evidence of his competencies and achievements.
  2. Cognitive Restructuring and Defusion: Coaching sessions focused on a combination of cognitive restructuring and defusion techniques from both CBT and ACT, helping Alex to reframe his thoughts in a more positive and realistic manner, and to learn to unhook from others so they did not impact on him so much.
  3. Skill Development: Alex and I worked on developing assertiveness and public speaking skills. Through role-playing and gradual exposure to speaking situations, Alex built confidence in his ability to express himself and engage with others.
  4. Goal Setting: Together, we set realistic, achievable goals that were aligned with Alex’s values and aspirations. Achieving these smaller goals helped build Alex’s confidence and demonstrated his ability to succeed.
  5. Self-Compassion: Alex was introduced to practices of self-compassion and mindfulness to reduce self-criticism and promote a kinder, more understanding relationship with himself.

Outcome

After 3 months of coaching, Alex reported a significant improvement in his self-esteem and confidence. He had volunteered to lead a high-profile project at work and successfully delivered it, receiving positive feedback from his peers and superiors. Alex also began participating more actively in social activities and started a hobby he had previously been too apprehensive to try. He felt more resilient in the face of challenges and more comfortable in his own skin.